Keepin' up with the Joneses

My hubby and I watched a movie the other night called "The Joneses." It came out a few years ago, and I was intrigued by the title because I thought it was a movie about a family who tried to "keep up."

Well, interestingly it was something I did not expect. Cut to the opening scene of the movie - picture it with me. The "Jones family" is riding in a brand new vehicle that rides so smooth it is like "riding on the ass of an angel" (as quoted by "Mr. Jones"). Flash over to scenes of Ethan Allen moving trucks moving furniture in to the 5000+ square foot home in Scottsdale, AZ. The family shows up and prepares for the neighbors to visit by answering the door together.

They appear perfect, right?

As the movie progresses, we learn that this family is not actually a family. They are a sales team made up of unrelated individuals with a goal to promote enviable products to family, friends, and neighbors. They are pushed to establish close relationships and become the desirable family that everyone wants to be like.

As a result, the sales for their individual products rise. They receive payment as a result. This is their life.

The premise of this movie freaked me out a little bit because I realized how true it could actually be. How many "perfect families" do many people envy out there? How many of those people want the latest and greatest gadgets just because "someone else has it?"

The movie ends with a suicide of the neighbor - one who "Mr. Jones" established a close relationship with. He charged everything and had nothing to show for it. He sacrificed himself for the Joneses' cause and for a life that never really existed.

This movie really made me think. How often does this happen and how many people are willing to sacrifice their lives - emotionally, financially, and mentally - for the cause of "The Joneses?" It's a scary path that I was headed down, but I realized that there is much more to life for than caring about what other people think. Ultimately, it is up to us as individuals to be in control of who we are and know our own self worth.

Money, possessions, and material things can't represent that - to ourselves or anyone else.

A Simple Kind of Life

I have been reading a book about leading a simple life. This life includes a small, but comfortable  home, one vehicle that is paid for, and experiences and memories that will last.

Why didn't I read this book when I was 27?

Here I sit and this book really has me thinking. Look at how much some of us work just to have "stuff." What are we truly sacrificing as a result? Aren't we missing those precious memories with the person we love and with our children? Our friends? Our families? Don't the hands of time fly by way too quickly on this clock of life?

I am working full time in a position that is not an ideal fit for me to pay off "stuff" and mistakes that I made in my past. Debt. Car loans. Student loans. I had to be the life of the party. I had to impress people. I had to have things in the moment, instead of thinking it through.

All of this, and now I just want to be home more with my family.

I feel like I made these mistakes in my past, and now it is affecting what I want out of life. I guess I could look at it that way, or else I could look at it as a lesson. I read today that mistakes are an opportunity to learn. This girl has learned her lesson, and I want this change for my future more than anything. It's been a lot of hard work, but I ultimately feel that it will be worth it.

I know everyone has their own beliefs on how to lead their lives, but I want to ask you to stop and think about one thing. Where could you cut back to make it possible to have more time with the people you love? I have realized that bigger houses, newer cars, and the latest toys don't replace closeness and relationships.

If you feel like the mistakes are too many and it is too late, I promise that it is not. It is a decision to make a change and do something about it. Today. Don't let life fly by in a blur; instead, embrace the slow motion moments and relationships that truly matter.

In the end, those relationships and moments are all we will have. Maybe, just maybe, we all want a simple kind of life.

Mommy Guilt - Part Deux

Yesterday, I did something I never imagined I would do.

I *gasp* took my daughter to daycare on a Saturday!

The opportunity sounded enticing since her daycare only does this one Saturday a month. I made her reservation three weeks ago and struggled with the decision for a majority of that time. My husband would be home sleeping from working all night and my stepdaughter would be with her mom.

Wow. Think of how much I could get done!

Shame on me! Why did I think that? I thought of how much she would miss me and how I was betraying her. I felt like a horrible mom.

I am in the midst of taking on extra projects in addition to my full time work. It's work that I enjoy, but the payments I make will go straight to our debt so we can get our family out of debt faster. A future of complete freedom is in sight and this is continuously pushing us forward.

The truth is, I got more done yesterday than I had in a long time. Since my husband's schedule is crazy when he works nights and weekends, I rarely have time to focus on anything for an extended period of time due to my own work schedule and the kids. I was so productive with my own time yesterday because I knew I had very little of it. It was an amazing lesson for me!

When I picked up my daughter, I couldn't wait. I had missed her terribly, but felt very relaxed from all that I accomplished and even had some time to go to the gym while she was there.

The beauty of it all? She survived. She was in a great mood from playing with her friends all day and I was in a great mood because I had completed so much, and now I could focus on spending my time with her.

So mommies - take it from me. It's not all bad to have someone care for your child while you enjoy a little time or take time to work on projects you love.

Ultimately, you are doing what is best for your family and only you can determine what that is.

A Path to No More Mondays

I read a book recently titled "No More Mondays" by Dan Miller. Dan is a motivational career coach who has an interesting perspective on work and pursuing the things that you love. I enjoy listening to his podcasts weekly.

Dan teaches that if you pursue what you love and charge for "results" based work instead of punching a time clock, you will make more money than you ever have. You will have the flexibility to spend more time with your family and truly love what you do and do what you love.

Think about what you love to do. Don't you just get lost in it? Now think about a job that you may not enjoy. Doesn't it just drag on? Do you find yourself sitting there thinking how you could be doing so much more if you weren't there?

Now don't get me wrong, work is a necessity and I believe before you leave to pursue your dream you must have a strong plan and have plenty of money saved for an emergency. It still made me think that anything is possible. I have been doing the things I love on the side - teaching, writing/editing, speaking, motivating, and fitness - for years. My time seems to fly by when I am doing all of those things. I hope that I can somehow combine those into a full time career that I love someday.

So now I am setting forth on a new path and setting some goals. I am putting these goals down on paper. I feel like I have been "floating" along, but now that we are making some progress in our financial lives, it is giving us a little more freedom to make different decisions in the future.

I am officially journeying down this path to "No More Mondays."

Dream big. Realize your worth. Set goals. Make your future happen.

Anything is possible.

Stop Where You Are

Life. It rushes by us like a train at full speed, doesn't it? Just when we think we caught our breath and refocused our energies, it whips by us again and we are often left wondering what happened.
I foolishly believed that these times were few and far between, but this year has provided our family with plenty of pain, obstacles, and challenges. From the loss of one of my best friends on New Year's Day to my husband losing his grandma to our daughter in and out of the ER for a few months, it was a lot to process.

All of these events made me think: "Hey - stop where you are. Right now. Just stop. Take everything in because it could be gone tomorrow."

We are often rushing around trying to meet deadlines, schedules, and the timelines. Some of these are from others and some are self imposed. At the end of the day, we are left with very little sanity and peace of mind because of all of it.

Now that the dust from the first half of 2012 is beginning to settle, I am not taking any of it for granted. If I catch myself stressing out or running around, I just stop. Sometimes I breathe. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I love on my family and friends.

So stop right where you are. Think of everything you have to be thankful for. Realize what you're not happy with and start thinking of ways to make a change.

Breathe.