Five simple tips to change your financial future

Money. It is an absolute necessity in life.

I was raised in a religious household where I was taught to never "put money on a pedestal." We did keep it off of the pedestal. In fact, we kept it out of the spotlight and discussion entirely. My parents never taught me how to be responsible with money and I was sent out into the world with limited financial knowledge. Even my whole college education was funded through student loans.

In my previous marriage, my ex husband did all of the finances and money was very important to him. It's all I ever remember him talking about. This conflicted with my childhood because it was such a "hush hush" topic in our household. This caused a deep conflict for me. As a result, I avoided money discussions in general. During my divorce, we split the money we had and I blew it all on partying, shopping, and having fun. I stopped paying my student loans and accumulated more debt.

I don't blame anyone for my bad choices, but I really do believe education is key. I realize that I did not make good choices, and now I am paying for it. That's okay! We all learn from our mistakes.

A year after I re-married, my husband and I are still working to dig out of a financial hole that we both created. Debt and lack of planning caused our current situation. While we have made some progress and our situation has improved, we still have a ways to go. We are learning a lot along the way.

In a way, I am thankful for this experience because it has taught me that you can always turn around even when your financial future looks bleak. It has made us stronger and more determined to ensure our children do not have a similar future.

I want to share a few tips that I wish someone had told me a long time ago. I believe these are life changing lessons that I know we plan to pass on to our children.

1. Money is not a "hush hush" topic. Growing up, it was rude to talk about money. All I ever knew is that my parents didn't have any. In this house, we openly talk about upcoming expenses and our budget. If one of the kids has a question about money, we will answer it. We are all in this together and honesty and transparency is key. I believe this should be the new wave of the future for all families.
2. "No" is not a bad word. When the kids ask for something we have not planned for, we will tell them "it's not in the budget." In other words - we tell them "no." On the flip side of that, we explain that if they save their own money or if we plan for something as a family, it may be a possible purchase later. It's not bad to tell your kids (or yourself) no when you don't have the money.
3. Debt is a BAD WORD.  When my parents sent me to college, I spent every year in the financial aid office signing on the dotted line for student loans. When I went to college, I signed up for credit cards and bought something "when I wanted it." As an adult, I used credit cards to pay for trips and clothes. We are now working very hard now to clean up this mess. Somedays it feels like we will never dig out of this hole, but with budgeting (see #5) and deciding not to accumulate more debt - I know it is possible that we will get there. You can't keep digging if you continue to throw dirt in the hole!
4. Spontaneity has a price tag. When I try hard to remember what I purchased with a credit card, I can never remember. It's possible that I made a purely emotional purchase or I was trying to "be spontaneous." There is a price tag associated with that each and every time. When you feel like a little "retail therapy" with a credit card, take the time to sit down and think about what is causing you to feel like this. It can prevent a big bill later.
5. Monthly budgets are mandatory. I didn't know how a budget worked until I sat down with my husband last year and walked through our first one. It wasn't as painful as I thought it was. We know where our dollars are going and even using a cash envelope system (Dave Ramsey style) to purchase items such as food, clothing, and holiday gifts. Budgets are simple and there are several resources available to start one.

I truly believe that if we teach these things to our children and practice each one ourselves, we can turn this economy around one family at a time. That is our goal and we plan to continue to work hard, dig out of this debt, and be a part of that change during the next few years.

Money is not a scary topic. It's a necessary one.

The ultimate challenge for a - **SQUIRREL!** - girl who struggles to focus!

Something miraculous happened these past few weeks. I have been incredibly efficient and still had time for my family. I have had time to exercise, plan and pack my meals for work, study for my personal trainer certification, and start teaching a composition class at our local community college in addition to working a full time job.

I'm the type of person who isn't satisfied with just one activity, but I have always found it frustrating that I couldn't accomplish everything that I wanted to. I started doing Chalene Johnson's 30 day push to master organization and achieve your goals. WHAT A DIFFERENCE!

Chalene has an excellent way of helping you identify your dreams and goals, and then breaking those down in to manageable tasks. She discusses how using your smartphone and task apps actually help you accomplish more.

I started making my task list at the beginning of each morning at the same time - before my workout and before anyone is awake. I haven't forgotten anything this week!

I hope that I can continue to develop this habit so that I reach my BIG goal this year - which is to write an eBook! I make sure I include one to two tasks per day that will PUSH me towards that goal.

More organization means less stress. More goal setting and action creates dreams that come true. Will you join me on this journey? You can sign up for free below!

http://www.chalenejohnson.com/30daychallenge/members/

Small changes = BIG differences!

Hi. My name is Heather, and I am a procrastinator...

I have spent the majority of my 33 years here on this earth as a procrastinator. I've always enjoyed the "rush" of barely beating that deadline or enjoying other things I loved and saving the things I had to do for the very end. I told people that my background in journalism made me a very "deadline oriented" person, and I love to be driven by those deadlines. Deadlines forced me to get done what I needed to get done.

Then I realized that I was only lying to myself.

Exciting? Hardly. I forgot to tell you about the migraines, the panic attacks, and the overall skyrocketing stress and crankiness that accompanied each of these "deadlines." I put off what I had to do because I knew I could get it done, but it still invaded my every thought and didn't allow me to enjoy life.

This not only included work deadlines. It also included things in my personal life like doing my laundry or making my lunch for the next day. I would wait until last minute every single time and rush around in a frenzy to complete the smallest of tasks. I drove myself and everyone around my crazy.

My husband started noticing I often did this, and began making small, subtle "hints" of doing things earlier. At first I resisted, but then I started using my mornings to do just that.

It has only been about a month, but it has made a world of difference in my sanity and in my life (and everyone around me for that matter)!

I wanted to share some thoughts with you, friends. I often discuss how important exercise and healthy eating is to mental health, but lifestyle also plays a big part. Focusing on small changes in your life make a big difference, too.

1. Don't try to be perfect. For me, procrastination was all about achieving perfection. I thought that if I had "more time" the day before, I would do a better job. Well, life happens. Plan ahead and tackle a big task one piece at a time. It is easy to break it up in to achievable tasks or goals for each day.  Perfection is the ultimate time waster. You'll never have that perfect mindset in that perfect place and time. Put forth your best effort in the time you have, and your quality of work will shine through.
2. Use your mornings. I love mornings. I recommend the mornings for exercise, alone time, and working on tasks to meet deadlines.This is my favorite time of day because I am fresh and ready to tackle the world. Also, my husband and kids are asleep so I am not missing out on time with them. If you dread the mornings, try going to bed earlier and having your favorite blend of coffee or tea waiting for you in the morning. Trust me, that is motivation to get out of bed!
3.  Say no more often. I used to think that I had to do everything for everyone if they asked. I noticed that when I said yes to tasks I didn't particularly enjoy, I was running over my deadlines and stressing out about it. All I did was waste time talking about how I didn't want to do it instead of doing it! Say no and be okay with it. My friend Angela is a career coach, and she suggests that you don't commit to anything on the spot. Instead, take the time to think about it and get back to the person. I could not agree more.
4. Take one step at a time. If you have a big deadline or goal to reach, break it up in to achievable tasks. In order to make the journey, you must take the first step. Plan out what you are going to do, when you are going to do it, and how much time you have to complete it. As you complete each step, check it off of your list. Be proud of yourself for each small achievement that moves you towards your goal or deadline.
5. Be flexible. As a parent, this one is definitely important! If you have an early morning planned to complete one of your tasks and your child wakes up early, take it in stride and spend time with your child. I used to get upset when anyone or anything messed up what I had planned, but then realized that time with the kids was far more important than anything else. This is also how I learned not to save things until last minute! If the task was small and achievable (see #4), I could always work on it later in the day or even combine it with what I had planned for the next morning.

There will be times that we have to crash on a huge deadline or pull an all nighter, but my goal is to ensure that those are few and far between. From my experience, taking the time to plan ahead saves a lot of headache later. I feel lighter, happier, and more in control of the outcome. The payoff is definitely worth it if you just give it a try!

Acceptance

My mind races at a speed that I can't slow down. Every time I sit down, I feel like I have to be doing something or that I have to be saying something. I can't be still. I can't. I have tried, but I just can't.

I used to get in trouble for talking in class in school. I never listened. I interrupted constantly. I have to repeat something to myself just to remember it.

I began thinking I had something seriously wrong with me. Square peg - round hole. I must be chiseled to fit into that round hole, right? I must find out what is wrong with me - I must fix ME.

A few years ago, I was diagnosed with ADD. I took a test that indicated I had it. The giveaway? I didn't even read the instructions before I took the test, so rushing over the instructions and jumping into the test was first sign (supposedly).

I tried medication. It messed with me. It made me slow down. I slurred my words. Time passed way too slowly. I felt like I was in a haze where my mind couldn't even process entire thoughts anymore. Some would say that it worked, but I didn't think so. I quit the meds cold turkey after a few months and got back to the gym. The withdrawals from quitting cold turkey were hard, but the workouts felt great. Expending that amount of energy helped me feel great. That is who I am - I need that release!

You see, even if I have ADD (or not) there is only so much I can control. I can't stop my mind from racing. I can control what I eat and how often I exercise. It helps, but I wouldn't say it makes me completely "normal" by society's standards.

I have just had to accept that this is who I am. I have to do a million things at once. I have to get overwhelmed and re-prioritize, because that is how I set my own structure. This is how I test my limits and I have learned I am not like everyone else. Society's standards and structure just don't work for me.

Why am I telling you this? Well, because I have had to learn to love that acceptance of myself. No person or no medication can change who I am. As people, all we can do in this life is work with what we have. We are individuals for a reason and each of us has something to offer the world.

If you're struggling, remember to surround yourself with the people who accept you and let your light shine. The struggle won't last forever, but the lessons you learn from it will.

Keepin' up with the Joneses

My hubby and I watched a movie the other night called "The Joneses." It came out a few years ago, and I was intrigued by the title because I thought it was a movie about a family who tried to "keep up."

Well, interestingly it was something I did not expect. Cut to the opening scene of the movie - picture it with me. The "Jones family" is riding in a brand new vehicle that rides so smooth it is like "riding on the ass of an angel" (as quoted by "Mr. Jones"). Flash over to scenes of Ethan Allen moving trucks moving furniture in to the 5000+ square foot home in Scottsdale, AZ. The family shows up and prepares for the neighbors to visit by answering the door together.

They appear perfect, right?

As the movie progresses, we learn that this family is not actually a family. They are a sales team made up of unrelated individuals with a goal to promote enviable products to family, friends, and neighbors. They are pushed to establish close relationships and become the desirable family that everyone wants to be like.

As a result, the sales for their individual products rise. They receive payment as a result. This is their life.

The premise of this movie freaked me out a little bit because I realized how true it could actually be. How many "perfect families" do many people envy out there? How many of those people want the latest and greatest gadgets just because "someone else has it?"

The movie ends with a suicide of the neighbor - one who "Mr. Jones" established a close relationship with. He charged everything and had nothing to show for it. He sacrificed himself for the Joneses' cause and for a life that never really existed.

This movie really made me think. How often does this happen and how many people are willing to sacrifice their lives - emotionally, financially, and mentally - for the cause of "The Joneses?" It's a scary path that I was headed down, but I realized that there is much more to life for than caring about what other people think. Ultimately, it is up to us as individuals to be in control of who we are and know our own self worth.

Money, possessions, and material things can't represent that - to ourselves or anyone else.

A Path to No More Mondays

I read a book recently titled "No More Mondays" by Dan Miller. Dan is a motivational career coach who has an interesting perspective on work and pursuing the things that you love. I enjoy listening to his podcasts weekly.

Dan teaches that if you pursue what you love and charge for "results" based work instead of punching a time clock, you will make more money than you ever have. You will have the flexibility to spend more time with your family and truly love what you do and do what you love.

Think about what you love to do. Don't you just get lost in it? Now think about a job that you may not enjoy. Doesn't it just drag on? Do you find yourself sitting there thinking how you could be doing so much more if you weren't there?

Now don't get me wrong, work is a necessity and I believe before you leave to pursue your dream you must have a strong plan and have plenty of money saved for an emergency. It still made me think that anything is possible. I have been doing the things I love on the side - teaching, writing/editing, speaking, motivating, and fitness - for years. My time seems to fly by when I am doing all of those things. I hope that I can somehow combine those into a full time career that I love someday.

So now I am setting forth on a new path and setting some goals. I am putting these goals down on paper. I feel like I have been "floating" along, but now that we are making some progress in our financial lives, it is giving us a little more freedom to make different decisions in the future.

I am officially journeying down this path to "No More Mondays."

Dream big. Realize your worth. Set goals. Make your future happen.

Anything is possible.

Homeschooling

Over the course of the past few months, I have been learning about homeschooling and all it has to offer. I don't know everything, but what I found definitely interests me.

I used to think that a public school education was necessary for every child to gain social skills needed to function in society. I also thought that children would generally excel in a group environment of learning, but what I have learned has really opened my new mind to thoughts and ideas on the topic.

According to a few moms on the Simple Mom podcast, their homeschool activities take about three hours a day. The other hours of the day, the child spends exploring his or her natural interests in a highly creative and encouraging environment. Does your child love to play with legos and build things? What about music? Think about all of the options available in a home setting with time to explore that he or she would not have in the classroom.

As a parent, it is our job to encourage and support children in whatever they are interested in. I remember being told as a child that I would never be good at math because I was a girl. I think this type of discouragement is ultimately damaging. In a homeschool environment, a parent would (hopefully) never tell his or her child this.

I started thinking about family trips that could be a learning adventure. Exploring caves, camping, and searching for shells on the beach. It can all be integrated into the curriculum. I would have the opportunity to be a part of my daughter's education. I love the thought of more time with her and getting to see her develop as a person. There are so many amazing programs and virtual groups out there that encourage get-togethers, so homeschooled children would have social interaction with one another. Technology has allowed homeschooling to take on a life of its own.

I am reaching out to other parents for thoughts and advice on this topic. How do you think homeschooling could encourage your children? Do you see it as an advantage or disadvantage? Why?

I am just jumping into this vast pool of knowledge, and look forward to what I can learn along the way. My daughter is only 14 months old, but the more I learn now - the best choice I can make for our family later.

House of Marriage

Big news. I got married last week! As my (now) husband and I like to joke, we "locked down the babymama/babbydaddy."

Being almost five years out from my divorce, I never imagined I would be saying "I do" again. The road between then and now has been filled with doubts and fears but also as equally with love and hope. It's hard for me to explain in words; it just feels right.

I am a former marriage skeptic. Due to my past relationships and the example given to me as a child, I didn't have much faith in the union. To me, it seemed like something someone could escape at any time with any sort of mistake or could enter back into just with a simple "I'm sorry." It was a pretty house with no foundation that was about to crumble as soon as the wind blew the wrong direction.

What changed my point of view? There are many things that slowly built the foundation of our union over these past few years. Watching the kind of father he is to the girls and how he does the smallest things just to see me smile made me change my idea of marriage. Also, knowing that he does what he has to do for his family and is loyal is something to really admire. He is very trustworthy, hardworking, and talented. We have the same goal to become debt free and we have the same dreams for our future. It is an amazing connection.

So, since saying "I do" - have things changed between us? I would say most definitely. I felt a connection before, but now it feels deeper. It was something about vowing those words to each other that made me realize that this is for real. This is it. I love this man and I am going to spend the rest of my life with him.

We built the foundation and now we are building our house. We are building our future. It's an amazing feeling!

Alive

Yesterday, I had an amazing opportunity. I got to be the real me - truly authentic. I laughed, I told jokes, and I shared and listened to other life experiences. You know what I did?

I had the opportunity to speak and inspire - and it was amazing.

I talked to some women who had careers and were also moms and wives. I discussed some of the things I have discovered that made life easier to "balance" for me as a new mom with a full time job. Some of those things included meal planning, exercise, budgeting and finding a way to make time when there doesn't seem to be any left. I was excited as to how receptive these women were; and how the things that have become second nature to me were new approaches to them.

These ladies also gave me something; I wasn't the only one talking. One single mom shared how she taught her kids the importance of money at a very young age. Another woman shared her love for Zumba and got a few of the other ladies in the class interested. The discussion and thoughts spread like wildfire as we laughed and learned.

You know when something feels "just right?" It's as if you found something that sets you on fire and makes you grin ear to ear? I believe I have found it. The feeling as I left that conference was unbelievable. It was such a give and take experience and truly amazing.

I felt - ALIVE.

It's out there. Follow your heart and be who you were meant to be. The rest will follow! At least, that is what I believe. :)

Realizing Happiness

I would like to ask you - what defines happiness for YOU?

I used to think that if I had the right job, the right salary, or the right status that I would be happy. I feel like I have gone as far as I can in the career field I am in. I have made more money than I ever imagined, but it doesn't fill that void of where my dreams are. I have hung with the "in" crowd, but never felt any more special than I already felt (and quite honestly, I even felt a little bit like a jerk). I thought if I had all of those things, that it would make me happy. I couldn't have been more wrong.

I had to experience all of these things to learn what actually did not make me happy. Happiness comes in smaller packages than we think. How about the laugh of your child? What about helping someone learn how to do something for the first time? How about giving or donating your time or money?

As you move forward to develop your life goals, think about what truly makes you happy. Set your goals to include all of those things. I truly believe that anything is possible if it makes you happy; you will just work that much harder to achieve it because there is something in it for you.

Work Your Talent. Share Your Gift.

Every day of the week, I commute one hour to work each way. As I pass people, I see many of them with expressionless faces. I often wonder what is running through their heads. Are they performing work they don't love because they need to get by? Did they just have a bad morning? Obviously, with that much time in the car I have a lot of time to think.

I don't want to be the person who works the 8-5 Monday-Friday gig for the rest of my life. I believe a lot of people who I see on my drive may feel the same but probably feel stuck. There are a lot of things that can contribute to being stuck in a career not meant for you: a sense of security, a paycheck, consistency. I often think many of us have the 8-5 jobs because it is expected of us.

Many people have a talent or a gift that they were meant to share with the world and should make a living doing so. Instead, we often stuff these dreams inside because the thought of being an artist, writer, or musician while supporting a family seems childish and absurd. Instead, we commit to the schedule that we believe is safe while pushing our dreams to the side.

I believe that people work to keep up with a certain lifestyle. It's scary to think about your resources being cut off and not getting that bi-weekly check. It's hard to plan for the future when you barely have time to sleep. I personally think it is scarier to wake up one day at 80 years old and realize that you spent your life doing something you never loved, that your dreams are forgotten, and that you worked so much you had little time with your family.

Right now, just like many others, I am doing what I need to do for my family. That doesn't mean that a stong dream, a good plan, attainable goals, and financial sense won't lead to a successful career in doing what I love. It's never, ever too late.

As a writer and someone who loves to motivate and speak about many areas that affect us as women and mothers, I am on that journey right now. I hope you can follow along and share in this adventure with me. Who knows, maybe some of you will decide to do the same!