Five simple tips to change your financial future

Money. It is an absolute necessity in life.

I was raised in a religious household where I was taught to never "put money on a pedestal." We did keep it off of the pedestal. In fact, we kept it out of the spotlight and discussion entirely. My parents never taught me how to be responsible with money and I was sent out into the world with limited financial knowledge. Even my whole college education was funded through student loans.

In my previous marriage, my ex husband did all of the finances and money was very important to him. It's all I ever remember him talking about. This conflicted with my childhood because it was such a "hush hush" topic in our household. This caused a deep conflict for me. As a result, I avoided money discussions in general. During my divorce, we split the money we had and I blew it all on partying, shopping, and having fun. I stopped paying my student loans and accumulated more debt.

I don't blame anyone for my bad choices, but I really do believe education is key. I realize that I did not make good choices, and now I am paying for it. That's okay! We all learn from our mistakes.

A year after I re-married, my husband and I are still working to dig out of a financial hole that we both created. Debt and lack of planning caused our current situation. While we have made some progress and our situation has improved, we still have a ways to go. We are learning a lot along the way.

In a way, I am thankful for this experience because it has taught me that you can always turn around even when your financial future looks bleak. It has made us stronger and more determined to ensure our children do not have a similar future.

I want to share a few tips that I wish someone had told me a long time ago. I believe these are life changing lessons that I know we plan to pass on to our children.

1. Money is not a "hush hush" topic. Growing up, it was rude to talk about money. All I ever knew is that my parents didn't have any. In this house, we openly talk about upcoming expenses and our budget. If one of the kids has a question about money, we will answer it. We are all in this together and honesty and transparency is key. I believe this should be the new wave of the future for all families.
2. "No" is not a bad word. When the kids ask for something we have not planned for, we will tell them "it's not in the budget." In other words - we tell them "no." On the flip side of that, we explain that if they save their own money or if we plan for something as a family, it may be a possible purchase later. It's not bad to tell your kids (or yourself) no when you don't have the money.
3. Debt is a BAD WORD.  When my parents sent me to college, I spent every year in the financial aid office signing on the dotted line for student loans. When I went to college, I signed up for credit cards and bought something "when I wanted it." As an adult, I used credit cards to pay for trips and clothes. We are now working very hard now to clean up this mess. Somedays it feels like we will never dig out of this hole, but with budgeting (see #5) and deciding not to accumulate more debt - I know it is possible that we will get there. You can't keep digging if you continue to throw dirt in the hole!
4. Spontaneity has a price tag. When I try hard to remember what I purchased with a credit card, I can never remember. It's possible that I made a purely emotional purchase or I was trying to "be spontaneous." There is a price tag associated with that each and every time. When you feel like a little "retail therapy" with a credit card, take the time to sit down and think about what is causing you to feel like this. It can prevent a big bill later.
5. Monthly budgets are mandatory. I didn't know how a budget worked until I sat down with my husband last year and walked through our first one. It wasn't as painful as I thought it was. We know where our dollars are going and even using a cash envelope system (Dave Ramsey style) to purchase items such as food, clothing, and holiday gifts. Budgets are simple and there are several resources available to start one.

I truly believe that if we teach these things to our children and practice each one ourselves, we can turn this economy around one family at a time. That is our goal and we plan to continue to work hard, dig out of this debt, and be a part of that change during the next few years.

Money is not a scary topic. It's a necessary one.

The Biggest Loser: there's more to transformation

Every season that I watch the reality show "The Biggest Loser," I can't help but be moved by it. I know - it's a REALITY SHOW - so I often question the reality of it. Bottom line - we can't deny the underlying premise of the show.

Underneath every contestant there - something is hidden. Personal struggles always come out in to the light and the contestants become vulnerable. Their emotions and physique become a public display during weigh-ins, workouts, and talks with the trainers. At some point in the show, most of the contestants face their fears and struggles and find a way to place each one into their workouts and healthy choices.

That vulnerability word is scary. I can't even imagine what each one of these people may be thinking before going on the show, because they know they will be forced to face their demons. Maybe they think they don't have demons? Maybe they are there because they believe that only their physical appearance and health need total transformations?

As a person who used to be overweight and has often turned to food for comfort, I know that there is more to the transformation than the physical. I believe that the time spent in the gym is as great of therapy as it is for your health. I know that there are times that people are more likely to turn to food than other times. Trust me, I am still working on me  - but knowing that a great workout or a healthy meal will instantly turn my mood and my outlook around is enough to keep me going.

I started this journey about six years ago at one of the most difficult times in my life. I took out my anger and frustration on my workouts (and I still do). I found making my meals at home and planning for most of them gave me a way to take control of a situation I felt like I didn't control. I broke down. I cried. I saw changes. I kept going.

Wherever you start this journey or wherever it leads you, please remember that we are all facing demons of some sort. It's not about identifying and fixing your troubles with exercise - it's about finding a healthy place to transfer your negative - and positive - energy. It is also about being vulnerable and allowing yourself to see that this is a decision for your health and could save your life physically, emotionally, and mentally.

The "Grey Area"

I've always been a person who sees things as black and white, right or wrong, or left and right (you get the point). The grey area has always been an uncomfortable place for me. I don't know what to expect or what will happen in this area. As the oldest child and a self proclaimed "perfectionist," I always have to know what to expect or how everything will play out. If I do something, I have to follow certain steps. Certainly I won't get there if I don't follow every single step, right?

Wrong.

I have learned that this mindset holds me back. It keeps me from finding the courage to take the next step in life. I think it is that way for other people too. Can anyone else out there relate?

Why do many of us feel the need to "play by the rules" and follow the recipe that life has given us? I think that doing so has given many of us a great sense of security, but often that sense of security is false. I can't tell you how many times I have followed everything from steps A-Z only to see that security doesn't exist and I have also wasted time in the process.

I'm not telling you to go out and lie, cheat, or steal in life to get ahead. What I am telling you to do is think outside of the box. If you feel like you need to have a degree before you can truly get started with what you love in life, look at ways to self study and get some practical experience. You can volunteer or even help a friend. If you want to start on a new venture, don't feel like you have to do hours of countless reading and research to start small (I am guilty of this). Read up on those things you are unsure about and get out there and get that hands on experience.

We will all make mistakes and we will all fail. That is what is so scary about the grey area. Fear of failure holds us back. I challenge you to just start doing what you love. Learn from your mistakes. Those mistakes will be the best lessons of all and you won't read about them in a textbook or during your countless hours of research.

Step out. Be smart. Take a chance. Walk around in the grey area. You may be surprised at what you learn and at how far you will go.

What I learned by going vegetarian

Growing up as an Oklahoma girl, my meals were always very meat heavy. Fried chicken, meatloaf, pork chops, sausage - you get the point. My eating habits were very focused on meat and I could eat large portions of meat and even go for seconds!

I started gaining weight in my early 20s and was almost at 200 pounds. I lost weight by working out but never really cut back my portions. I realized I still had a very "meat-centric" mentality. I hardly ate vegetables and really didn't even like many of them. When my husband and I started dating, I tried to give up meat for a little bit but I always went back.

Finally last fall, I watched a few documentaries that grossed me out to the point that I couldn't even touch a piece of meat! (that is for another blog). This was the fuel I needed to finally cut meat seriously down (and practically out) to find other sources of protein and eat more vegetables.

I started trying everything - beans, lentils, spinach, cabbage, cauliflower, tofu - you name it and I tried it! Most of it I liked and I even started craving. I started to feel better and have more energy. I thought all along it was because I cut out the meat.

The truth is - it is not because I cut out the meat.

It is because I was finally getting the nutrients my body needed that it had been missing by focusing on a diet so heavy in meat.

I also started cutting way back on cheese. I always felt sluggish when I ate foods heavy in meat and cheese and now I have more energy since eating more vegetables. It wasn't the meat's fault; it was my limited diversity in food.

With this realization, I decided that I could slowly start incorporating meat back in to my meals again. Not in huge,disgusting portions like before - but in smaller portions. My plate will still be mostly veggies and whole grains and it won't be every single day.

Now I love all types of foods. I feel like I am closer to finding that place where I can have diversity in my foods, have better health, and also limit my meat portions. It has been a learning process for me and my family, and it has been a great one at that!

I would recommend anyone take this challenge - even if it is just cutting out meat from your meals a few times a week. Find alternatives and experience new things. Your body and health will thank you!

The ultimate challenge for a - **SQUIRREL!** - girl who struggles to focus!

Something miraculous happened these past few weeks. I have been incredibly efficient and still had time for my family. I have had time to exercise, plan and pack my meals for work, study for my personal trainer certification, and start teaching a composition class at our local community college in addition to working a full time job.

I'm the type of person who isn't satisfied with just one activity, but I have always found it frustrating that I couldn't accomplish everything that I wanted to. I started doing Chalene Johnson's 30 day push to master organization and achieve your goals. WHAT A DIFFERENCE!

Chalene has an excellent way of helping you identify your dreams and goals, and then breaking those down in to manageable tasks. She discusses how using your smartphone and task apps actually help you accomplish more.

I started making my task list at the beginning of each morning at the same time - before my workout and before anyone is awake. I haven't forgotten anything this week!

I hope that I can continue to develop this habit so that I reach my BIG goal this year - which is to write an eBook! I make sure I include one to two tasks per day that will PUSH me towards that goal.

More organization means less stress. More goal setting and action creates dreams that come true. Will you join me on this journey? You can sign up for free below!

http://www.chalenejohnson.com/30daychallenge/members/

How using cash helps you get out of debt

During our debt free journey, I have had a lot of people ask me what changes we have made. While  changes have really added up over time, the one big change we made after creating a budget is using the cash envelope system!

If you are a Dave Ramsey fan, you have heard him speak about this method multiple times. In a world where we are used to swiping a card for our purchases (debit or credit), it is hard to fathom that people still know how to use and count cash.

Have you ever made a large purchase with cash? It is hard, isn't it? You have to really think about that purchase because once you make it, the cash is gone. Using cash also helps with your budget too. Once you withdraw cash when you get paid and put it into the envelopes, it is accounted for as a line item in your budget.

If you are interested in getting started, here are some helpful tips based on our experience.

1. Develop your cash categories. Look at your spending and see what spending trends you have. Once you do that, you will be able to eliminate excessive spending and identify categories which will become your basics. Every person or family will be different, but our categories include:

• Groceries (this also includes household items such as detergents, toilet paper, etc.)
• Clothing.
• Household (for minor repairs or new furniture, etc.).
• Entertainment (for nights out or in with your significant other or family).
• Holiday (birthdays, Halloween, and Christmas).
• Dining out (family meals or date nights at restaurants).
• "Fun money" (cash that you can spend on meals with friends or anything not identified in the categories above for yourself. It's your money to have fun with!)

2. Assign amounts to each category. Look at your trends in spending for each category and assign amounts to each. This will be difficult to do because you will need to cut back from each category to really make progress in paying down your debt. For example, most of our categories are $50 every two weeks with the exception of the grocery category (which is more). This will really force you to look at where you spend your money.

3. Put your cash in an envelope and label each category. No, seriously - this is what you do! We have ours labeled in an organizer. It is pretty simple and basic, and you get used to it over time. Once you spend what is in that category, it is gone until the next payday. It really forces you to become mindful of your spending choices.

4. Adjust your categories as needed. After a few months of spending, you may notice that you do not have enough in one category. Maybe you have taken out of one category (after talking to your spouse of course) to pay for something out of another category. This is a sign that you need to adjust your amounts. This could change several times depending on where you are at each point in life. For example, with growing kids we should adjust our clothing category accordingly. This isn't a reason to spend more, but is designed to help you focus on what you need.

5. Save up for something within each category. This is one thing I love about the cash envelopes. If you want a really nice night out on the town or something new for the house, you can save up your cash within that category. After three months, you may look in the household envelope and realize you have a small savings there to buy something you have been wanting for your home. It is also great for Christmas because you have had all year to save your holiday money!

I cannot express how much using cash has helped us pay down almost $30,000 in debt in one year. Once you are mindful of your spending, you will begin to notice changes. It's worth the work and effort.

Anger is the best motivator

Anger. It is an emotion many of us don't understand because we feel it so intensely. I know all people display this emotion differently. Some hide the anger and let it boil internally. Others act out in a rage.

There are also people who choose to let that anger motivate them and drive change. In my opinion, this is the most productive way to use anger.

I have always reacted quickly when something upsets me. I don't hold it in. I let it go and say and do things that are not always the best at the time. When I do this, I discover that these reactions get me nowhere fast.

The times that I have been angry and allowed it to motivate me to change have been spectacular. I have used anger during a great workout. I have used it stay focused as we work on getting out of debt. I have even used it to become a better parent by not repeating mistakes.

Nobody is perfect and getting angry is only a natural reaction to a bad situation. Anger is healthy if it isn't destructive and you don't let it eat you alive. If you are angry about something in your life, use it as motivation for change. Here are a few steps I have discovered that work for me and may work for you too.

1. Stop and breathe. This one is hard for me. I have a tendency to "say what is on my mind," but does it really get me  anywhere in the long run? The answer is no. Stop and breathe. Think about how to process the information you have in a reasonable amount of time. The time you take to process everything makes a world of difference.
2. Then....get fired up. That's right! Get fired up - but not in a way that  you will react hastily. Think about what makes you angry about the person or the situation and use it to your benefit. Channel it for an intense workout or to make a serious change in your life.
3. Reflect. Always reflect on the situation. Reflection gives us a chance to learn more about the person or situation and what we could have done differently (or what we could do the same next time). Whenever that "next time" occurs (because it will), remember what you have learned and how to use it for your benefit but still work through the feelings.

Remember that anger is a healthy emotion. The way we choose to react when we have it determines whether it will motivate or deter us from the person we want to be.